It’s between the lines where we find the most solace (or at least that’s what they want you to believe). It’s on the loneliest days when we realize who we really are (or at least that’s what they want you to think in order to make it to the next). Temptation, motivation, or lack thereof. Monetization, commercialization, in conflict with the heart’s pursuit. Forget it. It’s in vain (even though they tell you it’s not). I guess what I’m trying to say is that I miss you (or maybe it’s a lie). I miss the part of you that didn’t care for the temptations of the ordinary. They tell us that the ordinary leads to the extraordinary, and I almost believed it (sadly, you did). I love you (no I don’t). I care about you (when it benefits me). I’ll lead my own path (that’s a lie, I’m codependent). At the end of the day, I still love you (and that’s exactly when you betrayed me). How long has it been? I don’t remember. It’s fading. Like the color of your eyes, your voice, your touch, your love. It’s all fading (even though I don’t want it to). Ephemeral. Who decides what we remember? I certainly don’t, and neither do you (although sometimes I wish you did so I have someone to blame). Everything changes (even if i don’t want it to). So I embrace it. Take a piece of me, a piece of my mind, a piece of my heart, a piece of my soul (or whatever’s left of it). Is this pursuit of yours still in vain? Tell me, what are you looking for? Are your actions part of an internal dialogue, or are you just another vessel of what they want you to do? Whatever, it’s not like it matters, right? So what are you waiting for!? Take from me what you desire. Take from me what you ache for, but make no mistake, I am no savior. Just another simple reminder that this life of yours will end, and it isn’t my choice either. Forget it, go away (please stay). Nothing will change (but I still have hope that it will). Maybe none of this matters in the end (of course it does). You left me here (or at least that’s what I like to tell myself). Why are you looking at me that way? It’s as if your eyes burn holes in my soul deeper than the heaviest heartache I have or will ever feel. Stop looking at me! (that’s another lie, stay). Why is it that every time this happens I can’t remember your name? (that’s yet another lie, your name is #@&%). Fuck you (I don’t mean that). You promised me you would stay! You promised! Yet I still grew up to be exactly what you wanted. At this point, not like it matters anymore, I’m sick of running around in circles, wallowing in my own shit about problems that don’t even fucking exist. Don’t lie to me (you weren’t lying). You didn’t give a shit, especially when I needed it the most (you did, but I couldn’t see it). Forget it (I’ve already forgotten what it was like). This place, where you and I stand will cease to exist one day, and this experience between you and me won’t matter to anyone but these two insignificant souls that just so happened to exist at the same time in this vast universe. I wouldn’t trade anything for it. Anyways, I guess I’ll just go take violin lessons.